So, it's the 'Michael Jackson passed away post'

I've been an MJ fan for a long time - of his music. Of his dancing. I can't say I supported every aspect of the man - I don't and didn't. But a large part of me is so sad- for his passing and for the life he lived. Yes, he had unimaginable talent and wealth - he never went hungry, he helped many people, he brought joy to us with his songs and dancing. But I think there was so much pain in his life - he did not have a childhood. He never grew up. And he lived the rest of his life searching for that childhood. I don't think he ever developed as a normal, functioning human being. He gave us such amazing gifts in music - but at what cost?Watching him on TV, or hearing of what 'crazy thing' he did for that week, it always made me sad - seeing how he was constantly hounded by the media, by fans (largely in part to his own actions) it made me really love the fact I have a normal, private life. He lived a very unhealthy life in an emotional and psychological sense. I hope wherever he is, he gets to be the child he never could be - to play with other kids, to have fun, to be at peace.

Thank you Michael. Please rest wherever you are.

You ever notice how you can close a door, use your air conditioner and shut the curtains...and it's ok comfortable. Yet, you open the windows, let some air and sunshine in and it's much better? You can breathe?

Yeah. It's like that.

No, seriously. I bought this skirt today. It be on itz wayz. :D

Hi EVERYONE. All....none of you I suppose.

So, update on my life.

I have an AWESOME job that I love. Seriously, I love my job.

School is not really happening because of job though... I've had to pull a few late nights and haven't cracked a book in weeks. I'm going to work today and sitting my ass down with Psych and Managerial Comm. and reading FOR HOURS, DAMMIT. I hope my profs will understand.

Love life? It rocks. Moving in with Carl, I swear... it was the best thing I ever did. We do argue still, but they last two minutes 'i.e. do the dishes'. But, I love being together when we can. We aren't attached at the hip (I work a dif. shift than he does, he goes out w/ friends, I do as well) It's nice to 'play house' together. I am not all 'let's get married', but for this point in my life, it works great.

Um.... anything else.... yeah. I need to clean /organize my life. I spent all day yesterday cleaning Carl's / our room. I need to do the same in my room. Anyone want pics when the apt is done?

What matters though... is my appreciation of what I have. Recently, my best friend kinda lost everything in a storm, and I've realized how grateful I am that she is ok and that I have what I do here. I can't imagine what I would do and I am so happy she has someone there for her and that she is taking it so well. I can't lie either... she may move closer to CT and I'm hoping in happens. I haven't seen her in like... 4 years and we don't talk much. At first, I was really hurt and thought 'what did I do that made her ditch me?'.... yeah, I was 20, what do you expect. It was a bad time in my life. And then I realized, some people can just leave everything and go on with their lives. I respect that alot. And I also realized that although we had our differences that never got brought to light until it was sort of too late... we still really love each other. I'm going to put more effort into our friendship. I have a feeling we could both use it. She's happy in her new life / place, and I'm happy for her. We still care alot for one another...she was there for me when I had my cancer scare, I'm there for her now... we just need to get settled in our respective lives, and then we can focus on our friendship.... or something like that.

It took me years just to move out of my Mom's house, but now that I have.... I could imagine doing the same thing. I <3 CT, but Carl and I talked about it, and decided; if an opportunity comes, we go. (He works for a site in LA, I want to go to school in NYC when I graduate from MCC...in the year 20XX)

That said, I kinda remember how much I like Baltimore. I've only been twice, but I really had a great time there. Who knows. I've lost touch of almost all my friends from High School / semester in College / post - college. Few got married, had kids. I'm just not the type to get attached anymore. Too many times I've lost friends /they move on. So, I tend not to get involved with people. I have a few, couple are Carl's friends, two others I see / talk to every week /few weeks. Right now, I'm happy that way, honestly. I need to focus on my stuff for a few more months. I want to get to the gym, get my apartment cleaned out / sell a whole CRAPTON of things... stuff like that.


Eh, that's about it.

<3! Me.

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